I remember the day I found out I was pregnant.
I had went to the doctor to see why I wasn’t feeling good. I hadn’t had my period in a month, but I had already taken a pregnancy test, once again, determining that I was not pregnant.
No one knew that I wanted a child besides my husband. After all, a woman who is in her twenties isn’t supposed to want those kinds of things, right? Society had convinced me I wasn’t allowed to desire a family until I had my life in order.
I believe it hurt my husband seeing my heart break every time I took a test that came back negative. And believe me, there were so many tests. He wanted one too, but I had put up a front to the world and he was the one there holding me while I took off my mask soaked in a puddle of tears.
There were times all I could do was just sit in my husband’s arms and cry. But I knew God would bring us a child in His timing, if it was His will for us to have one.
Every time a test came back negative I would think thoughts like, what in the world is wrong with me?
I’m too young to be a mother.
I shouldn’t want this right now.
If it was meant to happen it would have happened by now.
My husband would wake up some mornings and talk about how awesome it would be for us to wake up to a beautiful little baby. But after three years of no luck, I started to think we may not be able to have children.
The 2015 New Year started off with a bang. Just a few days after New Years Eve, my husband thought he had an ear infection. So I decided to tag along and maybe talk to the doctor about what was going on with me, so that maybe someday having children didn’t seem so out of reach.
He insisted I take a pregnancy test first. Having already taken a test three days prior, I told him to go ahead, but I knew I wasn’t pregnant.
Kevin looked at me and said,”Tiffany, what if you really are pregnant? Don’t completely reject that it could happen.”
Being the know it all that I am, I assured him it wasn’t going to happen.
Then the doctor came in and said something that almost knocked me off my seat.
“Tiffany, you are definitely pregnant.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I said in panic and unbelief.
He assured me that the test came back positive IMMEDIATELY. It was definitely happening for us.
Kevin’s eyes were popped out his head and he came over to me, dropped down on his knees and wrapped his arms around me crying.
The sweet doctor had to assure me a couple of times that the test wasn’t lying. I sat there and cried for the times I had doubted God, even when He had promised me he would give us a child one day.
He was taking me into the next and most beautiful chapter of my life thus far. I was so scared and so excited at the same time. We told our friends and family and began the journey of preparing for our little one. I look back on the day and smile. 2015 was a bumpy year full of ups and downs for us, but GOD hasn’t let us down yet.
All of this draws to my conclusion, what have you been praying and asking God for? Maybe you need God to intervene in your family, maybe it’s your financial situation and you need a new job, maybe you are praying for a Godly partner to come into your life, maybe like us, your hearts desire was for a baby.
Whatever your needs may be, and however your circumstances may look at the present time remember this; God keeps his promises to us. We go through so many hard places in life. But these trials and deserts cause us to test the question, Is God really good?
And the test will come back positive. God is good, all the time. He is good even when we don’t feel like he is.
We were born into a world full of sin. There are so many things in this world I don’t understand and so much heartache I wish had never happened. But we will never know what is going on behind the curtains.
We don’t always see God’s protection on our lives. Sometimes we have to rely fully on blind faith to get us through. You will never know all of the things that tried to take your life, tear your family apart, and plague your spirit because God didn’t let it happen.
God doesn’t boast of every little thing He does for us, but we are to tell of his goodness to help others who are hurting. I will say it again, God is good even when we don’t feel like he is.
He is always at work in our lives, no matter the storm we are facing, He is taking care of us and working against the gates of hell on our behalf. God will take your tattered and broken heart, things caused by the injustice in this world and turn it into a beautiful story.
The enemy wants to take your focus away from what God is doing on your behalf behind the scenes and put in onto the problems. Refuse to entertain any thought given to you by the enemy. You are God’s beloved. He is madly in love with you and is a good, good father, even when we don’t think he is.
“And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.”