By: Thomas Fuson ll
Pastor and Blogger at The Eagle’s Gathering.
When I gave my virginity away at the age of seventeen, I felt like a man…until I didn’t.
I saw my first Playboy magazine and pornographic video when I was a very young child. Beginning at that time in my life my main aspiration was to have sex. The world we live in today is absolutely over saturated with sexuality.
All six senses are constantly bombarded by sexual undertones, they even try to sell me hamburgers with sex.
To be living in such an enlightened age, we are embarrassingly primitive when it comes to sexuality. After my mental baptism into the sex industry my mind was driven by skin and breasts. I craved them. I would set out on a journey of contradiction. I wanted sex and found myself with opportunities for sex, but I would not act. I just knew within myself that I was supposed to save that experience for the woman who would be my wife.
My mother raised me around Jesus, I knew him and knew what he expected, so that kept me in check for a while, but then along came this blonde. See , I had been dating this girl for a while. and the Lord knows I’d been fighting my cravings for sex for years.
We thought we were in love, but it was really just lust. Then one day we gave in to our desires. We had talked about marriage and justified sex with the fact that we were “engaged.” I was on top of the world for a while, a short while. However, when the dopamine and sex high wore off, my world would come crashing down.
You must understand, as I unfortunately didn’t at the time, that the physical aspect of sex is the least important one.
The physical gratification of sex is simply the reward given us for fulfilling a spiritual necessity. Each of us are meant to have sexual interactions solely with the man or woman God has chosen for us.
When we give that part of ourselves to someone who was never meant to receive it, the results are disastrous. I thought I was going to marry this girl. Even more so, I had hoped having sex would curb my porn addiction. I thought my craving would be satisfied. It wasn’t, it became worse.
Now I had this insatiable desire for something that was supposed to cured with sex, which I didn’t find, and wouldn’t for several years. This unmet desire would prove very problematic.
Soul ties. This is the fallacy of sex. Go out, have fun, sleep with who you want, sow oats, you’re free, you’re a young adult, it’s natural, it isn’t hurting anything, go and live life to the fullest.These are the lies pushed on us by the secularist agenda. But they don’t warn of us of soul ties. If you notice in the Bible, everything is built around sowing and reaping.
Sex is the act of sowing seeds, both physically and spiritually. The physical harvest of sex is children, but the spiritual harvest of sex is union. A morphing of two into one flesh.
The problem arises when we have sex with someone with whom we are unequally yoked.
The meshing of two spirits is a powerful and long-lasting phenomenon that we don’t fully comprehend. That was the part of sex I was missing. My spirit had united with hers and it wasn’t right. We were headed down two totally different roads in life. I would battle with those soul ties caused by sex for years to come.
Three short years later, the Lord would save me and set me to preaching. I preached all over the place nearly every night of the year. We would have wonderful services where I was visiting. People would be saved, healed,and set free. What people didn’t know is deep inside of me remained this insatiable desire for sex; a desire that would lead to my committing fornication, not once, but twice , all the while I was preaching the gospel.
This of course led to more soul ties, but not only that, but I would deal with crushing guilt. Years of my ministry have been wasted in my sulking and seeking until I felt I had repented for my sins and could return to ministry, all because I gave my virginity to whom it wasn’t meant for.
Finally, at 26 I met my wife. With her I would discover all the beautiful things sex was meant to be. Two people, becoming one, clinging to one another, and being in the will of the Father the entire time. The totality of sex is no longer a mystery or something that feels a million miles away.
Now it’s the beautiful spiritual experience God created it to be. I’m no longer wandering within an insatiable desire. If you’re a virgin, just wait , you’ll be happier that way. If you’re like me, we gave up something we can never get back to give to our spouses. But don’t let guilt rule you. Repent and move forward in abstinence and wait for the day God brings your prince or princess.