The beauty and difficulty of marriage is that it exposes every ounce of ugliness within you.
You can have exactly who God wants you to have and that thing still will expose you.
Here are a few of the reasons I think many relationships and marriages fail:
1. Marriage is a ministry and everyone is not call to it!
2. Selfish people will never be good married people.
3. They get in a God constructed institution "Marriage" yet don't allow God to run the institution.
4. They didn't seek God's endorsement before entry.
5.) They have an unwillingness to die to self.
Relationships will expose the ugliness within you. Don't run from it, defend it, or house it! Kill it or it will kill what you have. This is detrimental and not spoken of often, so please hear me when I say marriage is designed to kill the ugly in you; all selfishness, pride, sharp tongue, and anything else you may deal with. These matters are not for you and your significant other to argue and fight over, but to kill once and for all!!
Divorce is imminent when one or both parties don't die to themselves. Good marriages consists of two dead people. What I've learned personally is you will learn to die to self more each year. If you don't, your marriage will die more each year! I die more at year five than I did at year 1 of our union.
We didn't have two kids in 2012 now we do, which means more dying lol Sometimes all divorce is, is a person saying "I'm not willing to die that much or surrender to Jesus like that!" If that is the case then you should have never gotten married in the first place. Overall I see the beauty in this, it's making me experience a greater love for my wife, a greater level of patience, and Christ-likeness that I would have never achieved on my own.
If you desire a good marriage, you desire much death to self.
"In reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." ~Ephesians 4:22-24