Lord, Help Me to Grow Better, Not Bitter

Its been a while since I completely poured out my heart in a blog post.

Many of the blog posts I write on here are for you, but today, this one is for both of us.

I need healing, and you may be reading this right now because you do too.

A dear friend of mine just the other day told me not to be afraid to share my testimony because it had the capability to touch a hurting world, but I often coward at the thought of sharing where I’ve been, and I cringed with tear-filled eyes as I think back on certain parts of my past.

I’m a vivid dreamer, and when I wake up from nightmares with clammy hands and feet and watery eyes, pain comes rushing in like a flood and ravels me in a web. Maybe you experience this too.

Sometimes the pain of abuse and neglect resurfaces in our daily life, long after the incident took place. Sometimes our “fight or flight” kicks in, and we become an ocean of emotions as we go about in our daily lives.

How often do we stop and just allow ourselves to feel the pain?

We disguise it behind activities, behind work, behind our phones, behind a smile.

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We allow so many things to fill the void rather than dealing with what our hearts are trying to work out in order to bring healing to us.

Just recently God told me there was pain that I needed to allow myself to feel rather than covering it up and refusing to deal with it.

The beautiful thing about life is that pain is only temporary, fortunately for us. Pain does not last forever.

People will come and go in your life, but we have a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

People may lie on you, manipulate you, and try to damage your reputation, but we have a God who vindicates the cause of the righteous.

You may discover the people you loved so much and cared for more than anything in your life may just not be capable of love, but that has nothing to do with you.

There is nothing wrong with you when people refuse to see your worth, there is something wrong with them.

The pain we experience will either cause you and I to become better or bitter.

Daily we decide  whether to set ourselves in a prison and deny ourselves the joys of life while the key dangles within our reach, or we can choose to truly move on, let go, and live the life God intended for us.

Sometimes you think by “letting go” you are teaching someone a lesson, you’re teaching them to never hurt you again, right?

The truth is, letting go means, “I forgive you, but I need God to bring healing to my heart and your distraction is getting in the way.”

Your heart is a masterpiece, and you don’t deserve anything less than to be respected, loved, and appreciated.

Sometimes it’s the people who shouldn’t hurt us. Sometimes pain manifests in the form of a family member, a spouse, or a lifetime friend, but you don’t deserve to carry that pain with you any longer.

You and I deserve better, God has called us to make decisions in life that are for our betterment.

Sometimes there is nothing else we can do but allow ourselves to come face to face with the pain we’ve experienced and allow God to minister to us and love us well.

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He will take you from glory to glory, and He will give you exactly what you need to get through this season in your life.

The truth is that you don’t “need” anyone in this life except for Christ and the good news for us is He is the one that will never leave. We literally cannot escape His love. (Psalm 139:7-12)

So today I encourage you as I am encouraging myself, may we let God love us well. May we let God heal our hearts of the pain we’ve experienced in this life. May we allow God to render beauty from our ashes. May we begin to realize our incredible worth and stop giving people discounts. May we stop running back to the people, places, and things that are not good for us.

May we grow better, not bitter.

God has a plan for our lives, and this pain is playing its part in our destiny. This pain is molding us into the person we are meant to be. This pain is a transfer of power, because it’s only when you’ve been there, that you can really reach those who are there.

May we allow God to love us well.

He is the great physician after all. He is Jehovah Shalom, the prince of peace.

I love you my beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ. I am praying for your today.

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.” ¬†~Psalm 43:5

4 thoughts on “Lord, Help Me to Grow Better, Not Bitter

  1. I shared this a year ago on FB and came back to it tonight. Thank you for these words. Once again, the words touched my heart in a new way.

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