I don't understand why things happen the way they do. I don't understand why friends and family leave, or why disappoints become such a normal part of life.
But I will trust in you.
I know that you have a purpose for my pain and a reason for my struggle. I know that you are molding me, cleansing me, and pulling out all of the dirty stuff in me. It hurts, but I know that you are making me better.
I tend to be some wrapped up in my own self, my own problems. I make mistakes, I am flawed, I mess up. I want to be more like you, Papa. Help me love and see through your eyes, that burden would not become a permanent part of my heart.
I want to be free. Full of love, full of joy, full of freedom. I want to trust you with all that I have in me. But I am only human. I have my days where the tears don't stop flowing and it seems that no one in this world understands.
I am thankful that you have always been my Father. From the time I was a small child, I knew you loved me through and through.
You complete every part of me, you are what is good in me.
You take me onto the mountaintop, you take me to heights I never knew I could reach. You have brought me to see things I never thought I would see.
I know that you love me. You are infatuated with me. You want to take my heavy heart and replace it with a free heart full of your peace.
Help me to be more like you. In a world where nothing feels real, help me to trust in you.
You make my crooked paths straight. You cause me to stand upright. You discipline me in your love.
There is no error to your ways, and for that I am thankful that I belong to you.
You see the ugliest, most dirty parts of me and you still call me lovely. You called me your diamond, even when I don't feel special.
Your beauty burns bright, burning away every ugly thing in me.
Help me to be more like you. Help me to love the way you love. Help me to see the things you see, and do the things you do.
I know that the heartbreak I face is not your rejection. Instead, you are directing me onto the path that I am supposed to be on. You are directing me toward my purpose, and sometimes that means burning away everything that shouldn't be there.
You are my knight, my kinsman redeemer, my first love.
Thank you for calling me and loving me, even when I feel unworthy.